Yesterday the vet told me, when I asked, that Happy's chances were "fair, but guarded". It was a bad day for knowing anything at all, much less anything good.
Today they did another ultrasound, and things looked a little better. Her gallbladder is even smaller, she's in less pain, and nothing that could have gone wrong (hence the "guarded") has gone wrong yet. I didn't ask today about her chances of recovery. Pancreatitis (when it's this severe) is a waiting game, and I know she's not out of the woods yet. I'm just glad she's not any further... in. The woods?
Have I mentioned that my mind is shot? I haven't been eating enough (even now my pizza, the first thing I'll have eaten all day, is going to take more than an hour to arrive, damn it, don't they know my dog is sick?), and besides driving back and forth to Burnaby and distracting myself with frantic christmas shopping, all I'm capable of doing is playing Final Fantasy Tactics until my eyes bleed like a Bond villain. It's the most static videogame ever, and now I'm almost glad I couldn't get a Wii. Now I need things to move slowly, with great focus. How does one make a Calculator, you ask? Combine a level 4 Priest, level 4 Wizard, level 3 Oracle, and level 3 Time Mage. Would you like to make a Calculator? You have selected "no".
Being in the ICU makes Happy anxious, now that she's feeling a little better. I visited her today and she cried whenever another dog got fed. I think the crying was for my benefit. The ICU nurses tell me that she plays up her misery when I'm around, which I can believe. When I refused to snatch food away from a little half-shaved dog covered in stitches and give it to Happy, she slapped her paw on the floor of her cage in annoyance and cried louder than the bull terrier in another room who, I overheard, ate a flashlight.
My dog is starving. Or fasting, as they say. Today they gave her two kibbles, and I hope she's kept them down. She hasn't vomited since she's been there, which is good sign. (I collect good signs like stamps, if I collected stamps and stamps actually meant something). I'm going back there after I eat my goddamn pizza, when it goddamn gets here, to spend more time with her. Despite the crying and paw slapping, she slept for half an hour on my lap this afternoon. I don't think she's been sleeping much since they lowered her morphine.
Other stuff? There used to be other stuff.
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3 comments:
Two things:
1) My aunt is in the hospital with Pancreatitis (or whatever it's called). I trust that Happy and her are both in good hands.
2) I've also been playing an alarming number of video games, ESPECIALLY Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. I am hooked. I'm on Chocolate Island right now trying to beat the castle and it's making me nuts.
My head hurts.
Must relax eyeballs.
Do you know that apparently Pancreatitis is a side-effect of Effexor? Because I didn't, until just now when I read it on the internet.
Much love to Happy. We missed you both at the birthday party.
Yes, I think Juniper was a little perturbed at a doggy gathering without Happy, which may be why she was acting so uncharacteristically well-behaved.
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