I'm going through that phase of having a cold, now, where all I want to do is physically kick myself in the head until I lose consciousness. Not because of how sick I am (which isn't very sick at all, really), but because my head is telling me how much I hate myself. Which it does sometimes when I get sick.
Having to go to writing class today wasn't much fun. I sat hunched over for most of the hour and a half, with my mouth hanging open and a wad of toilet paper in my pocket for wiping my nose. I've never been able to blow my nose, because it makes me feel like my brains will shoot out of my face, and I'm liable to bust a blood vessel anyway. So I dab and wipe. Quiet as a mouse. Quieter, really. My head was telling me: SPEAK UP, MAKE FRIENDLY OVERTURES, BE SMARTER THAN YOU ARE. And then alternately: GIVE UP, GO HOME, CANCEL THE COURSE, STOP FAKING IT. You can see why it needs to be kicked. Or coddled. All we need is love? I want a cup of tea.
7 comments:
Wow. Weird brain. When I get sick I'm usually totally on my side, feeling really sorry for myself. Don't listen to her, Claire!
Was she mollified by the tea? Or he? It?
Not so much the tea (it turned out to be a chai latte), as by the playing of my Ninja Turtle video game, which I returned to Rogers only minutes ago.
I guess the evil voice of my head is more an It than anything else.
Remember that old MTV cartoon about the demon that lived in the guy's huge bald head? Yeah. That was really something.
Poornie!
Yeah, I have the same thing, where sickness and feeling shitty about myself go hand-in-hand. One causes the other, or visa versa.
Actually, as it happens I'm sick now too. We are the sicky sisters. The sticky sicky icky sisters.
Have you got a cold like mine? Poornie indeed! Nothing could make fall and winter seem less appealing than catching horrible colds right at the start.
HEY, REAL sister has a cold too, though i am on the mending part. but for the first week i was the girl that sniffed in class, and coughed at all the important parts.
And the one thing you should take out of this course is COUGH HACK SNORT COUGH.
My cold at this stage is lots and lots of sticky mucus, and the sorest throat I have ever had in my whole life. Seriously yo.
What about you guys?
I'm all congested. My head feels thick and heavy. My nose isn't running. I cough stuff up in the mornings.
My throat is only sore when I have any sugar, but I'm also sleeping a lot and having sweaty fever dreams. I woke up this morning and my shirt was soaked through and freezing.
But mainly I'm just very, very cranky.
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