I quit caffeine. I had a cup of decaffeinated English breakfast tea today (4% the caffeine of a regular cup), but that was the first drop since the 18th, when I slept through my Thursday fiction class for the second time. That freaked me out a bit, because I've missed three of those classes already and if you miss six classes in the entire year, you fail automatically.
I picture a steel robot with red eyes, buried in a vault below the Buchanan tower, that comes to life as soon as that sixth class is missed. Its robotic hands clank into angry fists and its big, square teeth slowly open, and then it screams FAIL.
I've been miserable lately, mostly because the no-caffeine thing isn't working, and the no-sleep experience is forever. I called my drug-loving doctor, Dr. Drug, and he put me on Lorazepam. Which is virtually the same stuff I've been taking from the medicine cabinet for weeks now, with two major differences- it isn't expired, and it doesn't work. Last night I took two pills and rolled from one side of the bed to the other until the windows got blue and I could hear somebody making coffee downstairs. Then I sat up and turned on my Nintendo DS.
I got a DS Lite, which is sort of a compensation prize for not sleeping, because I can play it in bed, right? I also purchased the unfortunate farm sim/rpg "Rune Factory", where you can fight monsters, grow crops, and fall in love! It's really a terrible little game, but I keep at it because it's something to master. Even if it makes my hands numb.
Tonight I've got this new prescription. I can't remember what it's called but it's actually an out-dated anti-depressant. They don't prescribe it for depression any longer because it's also a sedative, which I guess is a lousy side effect. So now it's a sedative with the side-effect of being not depressing.
I can't think how to wrap this up. The trouble is how my brain is too slow. I feel like an invalid. I wish I could write or draw or read or lose consciousness, and not in that order. This is such a goddamn non-starter situation.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Clairey, I feel so very sad for your crappy sleep situation. I suffered from chronic insomnia (gravol anyone? Watching pillows having sex on a blank tv screen anyone?) as a teenager and took to watching infomercials to pass the time.
In short, I should buy you a giant bouncy chair.
Gods, poornernie, I wish I could do more than cook you bacon and sausages that your mother paid for.
I wish they actually made giant bouncy chairs, that is the coziest idea ever.
I just had this ridiculous image of Kimi wrapping us up all in swaddling blankets and bouncing us all to sleep with pacifiers in our mouths. WHICH IS REALLY CREEPY. But sort of funny, if you're, like, enlightened, or really gross, like me.
Sorry Claire. That sounds like the shits. Sleep is so slippery isn't it? I have trouble getting to sleep sometimes too. Lately I've been taking walks RIGHT BEFORE BED. Strange? No. Exhausting? yes. That is the idea.
xOxo
(fo-reals)
Thank you friends for thy friendly thoughts. I'm feeling a little bit much better today (see most recent post), but when I was really low down and bluey, you reminded me of good stuff like YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE. YOU'RE THE STARS. But seriously just you four, because everybody else hates me forever.
Certified!
Post a Comment